The Five-Arena Assessment

SelfWhich of these sounds most like how you talk to yourself?

I mostly want life to feel easy and enjoyable.How I'm seen matters to me more than I'd like to admit.I'm never quite satisfied with where I am.I take responsibility for my own state.I notice what I'm feeling before I act on it.I think about who I'm becoming, not just what I'm doing.I don't spend much energy on how I'm doing at all.

Significant OtherWhich of these sounds most like you in your closest relationship?

I want it to be fun and low-maintenance.I want us to look like we're doing well.It often feels like one of us has to win.I own my part when something goes wrong.I ask how something made her feel, and I wait for the answer.I think about what we're building over years, not weeks.Mostly I'm just present with her.

Family & FriendsWhich of these sounds most like you with the people closest to you?

I show up when it's fun.I want them to see that I'm doing well.I keep score more than I'd admit.I'm usually the one who makes things actually happen.I listen more than I talk.I look for ways to be genuinely useful to them.I'm there. That's most of it.

CareerWhich of these sounds most like you at work?

I want work that's enjoyable and not too heavy.Recognition matters to me more than I say out loud.It's competitive, and I intend to win.I am responsible and accountable for the outcome.I care how my decisions land on the people around me.I think about the lasting impact of what I decide.I influence the room mostly by being in it.Not applicable right now

ParentingWhich of these sounds most like you as a parent?

I'm the fun one.I want their achievements to reflect well.I push them hard because the world is hard.I'm responsible for the structure they grow up in.I ask how they're feeling and I don't rush to fix it.I think about what they'll carry forward from me.I'm present. I don't need to steer.Not applicable right now

Next StepWhat would you do with the result?

Read the bookWork through it on my ownTalk it through with someoneNot sure yet